• Don’t drink from the milk carton.

• Don’t wash your underwear in the sink.

• Don’t hook up with a housemate, then bring a non-housemate home the next night.

• Don’t crash your housemate’s car.

• Don’t sing along with Kelly Clarkson.

• Don’t show up when it’s not your weekend.

• Don’t sublease your weekend to strangers without preapproval.

• Don’t hoard the security deposit.

• Don’t have sex in the pool.

• Don’t let your dog have sex in the pool.

Related:

• Archive: “Features”
• Table of Contents: July 4, 2005 issue of New York | Subscribe!