Happenings

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A Starbanger’s Guide to L.A. Nightlife

In a city with as many “celebrities” as Los Angeles, you’d be amazed just how achievable it is to sleep with someone “famous.” It’s all about knowing where they breed and being liberal with definitions.

PORN-STAR KARAOKE
Every Tuesday night, assorted XXX performers along with their S.O.’s, industry functionaries, porn-gossip columnists, and a smattering of fans, including, yes, John Goodman, get together at Sardo’s (818-846-8127), on other nights a pretty typical Burbank sports bar, for ogling, flirting, tall-tale-telling, and lounge-act attempts. The probabilities of going home with a playmate are not much greater than those of discovering the next Wayne Newton, but the viewing is first-rate.
-I.L.

THURSDAY AT CHA CHA
Jaded Williamsburg hipsters might find their hearts’ desire at the new Cha Cha Lounge (323-660-7595) in Silver Lake, where Captain Dream Muffin himself, Jake Gyllenhaal, was spotted on the Saturday before his Golden Globes no-show.

HOT DOG
No place is packed with more horny gay celebrities looking to cash in on their notoriety than the Saturday-night party at the WeHo hot spot Club 7969 (323-654-0280). Show up and who knows? You could end up wearing a free sample of Alan Cummings’s signature fragrance, Cumming in a bottle.
-S.A.

Next: L.A.'s Comedy Hotspots